In life, especially as men, we always strive to be gentlemen as we grow up. Being a gentleman is not enough but being a refined gentleman is the ultimate destiny. It takes a lot of effort to attain such a social accolade because the trajectory to refined “gentlemanness” is bumpy and needs a lot of sacrifice. As I turn 24 years old on the 27th of July this year, I found it relevant to share some of the principles that may make us refined gentlemen who are poised to change and impact positively on the various societal aspects.
1. Integrity: This maketh a gentleman. We should be able to do what is ideal even in the absence of other individuals. Our dignity should not be compromised.
2. Honesty: We must forever seek to be truthful to others and ourselves.
3. Respect: It is a two-way traffic. This simply implies that respect is earned and not demanded. Let us hold others in high regard irrespective of their status.
4. Valuing friendships: Make friends and ensure that you don’t betray them. Make friends who will stand-by you during the difficult times. In the same spirit, assist your associates in whatever way you can.
5. Having focus and finding purpose: Pursue relentlessly whatever you want to achieve. Do not be vague with life.
6. Appreciation: Be thankful to all the people who have been instrumental in your life. Saying a simple ‘thank you’ doesn’t cost anything.
7. Time management: Learn and practice how to effectively and efficiently manage your time. Time is a resource that is easily available to people but what makes the difference between individuals is how well they utilize their time. Appointments, whether they are scheduled interviews, classes or dates with prospective soul mates must be attended on time.
8. Responsibility: A true and real gentleman is defined by his level of responsibility. We need to be accountable to ourselves without being forced by circumstances.
9. Decision-making: We should be able to make decisions that make us better persons. Never be indecisive with choices in life. Make decisions and stick to them.
10. Positive attitude: Being an optimist goes a long way in boosting our self-esteem. Choose to see the glass as half-full in whatever situation and circumstance.
11. Healthy relationships: Avoid toxic relationships at all costs. Get into relationships because you seek to better and build the other party.
12. Decency: We should be morally upright individuals in the society in the way we carry out ourselves and in the manner we conduct our affairs.
13. Willingness to learn: This is one way to stand out as a cultured gentleman. Be willing to learn even from the people who are inferior to you intellectually or those younger than you.
14. Avoiding to live in the past: Refined gentlemen know that living in the present and working towards a prosperous future is what is important. The achievements of yesterday, if over- glorified may turn out to be obstacles. A dark past should neither drag us.
15. Getting better: Each year, each day, each time, we must push ourselves to be better persons. So, each day if you are not getting stronger and better, you are getting weaker and worse. Take it as a challenge to make personal improvement and progress.
16. Dressing smartly: You don’t have necessarily to put on expensive outfits to be smart. Be simple and smart. Remember that you will be addressed the way you dress.
17. Being prayerful: Always seek for divine intervention. This is a point that nourishes our souls and gives us the power to soldier on with life by instilling faith in us.
18. Being ambitious: The path towards being a refined gentleman lies in one being ferociously and ruthlessly ambitious. A burning desire to achieve life’s goals is a sure-fire for a better life.
19. Setting high personal standards: Never settle for the average and the lesser things in life. Set high standards for yourself and live by them. Never apologize for this.
20. Listening more and talking less: Being a refined gentleman is pegged on mastering the act of listening more and talking less. There is a reason why we have two ears and one mouth. Still waters run deep.
21. The act and art of sacrifice: To attain the good things and to be able to be an exceptional personality as a gentleman, then we’ve got to forgo some things in life.
22. Getting a good body shape: A refined gentleman must have a good physique. This does not mean that one should be an obsessed “gym rat” and a “he-man”. Instead engage in exercises that make you to look fit as a man as this will boost your self-confidence and self-esteem.
23. Finding a passion: Figure out what you like in life and execute it with utmost passion. Getting to know your hobby will prevent you from idling around.
24. Being disciplined: This is the cornerstone of being a refined gentleman. It is the bottom line and the most fundamental aspect towards such a personality. Self-control is a quality that must be cultivated to attain such an admirable character.